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BY KATIE MULDOON
DO YOU sometimes wonder, during the course of a conversation, if you're being told the whole truth? We've come to expect that politicians will say one thing and mean another. But you're just as likely to encounter this in the business world.
The most common invitation, “Let's do lunch,” hardly means anything at all. The person may just as well have said “It's a beautiful day” for all the intention he or she has of actually setting up a lunch engagement.
There are many other statements you ought to be wary of, harsh as some of these “translations” may seem.
Meetings
Statement: Feel free to build on any points made during the meeting.
Really means: Correct me at your own risk.
Statement: That seems like an excellent idea. I'll get back to you on it.
Really means: It will be a cold day in Hades before this idea ever flies.
Everyday Matters
Statement: We appreciate your enthusiasm.
Really means: You haven't a clue what you're talking about, but it's cute.
Statement: We appreciate your intriguing approach.
Really means: You haven't a clue what you're talking about, and it's not cute.
Statement: That'll be a first.
Really means: No way is it going to happen.
Statement: Thanks in advance for your prompt attention to this matter.
Really means: Absolutely nothing.
Statement: We seem to be having a communication problem.
Really means: You're not agreeing with me enough.
Projects
Statement: I know you're all going to get behind this project with everything you've got.
Really means: Plan to work evenings and weekends for some time to come.
Statement: The answer to your question is beyond the scope of this project.
Really means: I don't have any idea what the answer is.
Appearance
Statement: Well, we're certainly dressing creatively today.
Really means: Burn whatever you're wearing the first chance you get.
Statement: How retro of you.
Really means: Save it for your next Halloween party.
Strategy
Statement: We've made our projections.
Really means: We've made the ridiculously low numbers we pushed through so we would look good when they came in higher.
Statement: There's a small possibility that we're off strategy.
Really means: Absolutely nothing is working and we're up a creek with no hope of finding a paddle.
Statement: Your optimism is refreshing.
Really means: Get your numbers looking at least somewhat realistic.
Statement: Initial response seems a little sluggish.
Really means: This thing has taken a serious nosedive.
Merchandise
Statement: Customer service says there's a big problem with that product.
Really means: Customer service had three complaints.
Statement: There's a slight chance this product could arrive later than the date it's needed in the warehouse.
Really means: I don't know where it is or when it will be arriving.
Personnel
Statement: Marge is sitting in to observe, so make her feel at home. Don't worry about any changes she suggests.
Really means: Update your resume.
Statement: Working late again?
Really means: You really are out to get my job, aren't you?