Catalog Bloopers

Catalog Bloopers

BY KATIE MULDOON

OF COURSE, there's no way that anything in this column applies to you or me. But all of us have seen the results of sloppy catalog production — books thrown together in a hurry, seemingly without the benefit of any proofreading. Key code letters that don't match photos, misspellings, missing copy blocks…these are, sadly, relatively common occurrences. Then there are the potentially calamitous ones.

Like when you're ready to go to press and you discover that the catalog, now in color separation form, is the wrong size for the press. If you have any luck at all, at least it's in the same proportion and you can downsize to fit. Granted, this can mean teeny, tiny copy and other less-than-desirable attributes but it beats the alternative — basically a total redo. Hence, check and recheck sizes against press specs. Never, ever assume.

What about the order form that's so poorly designed that the “total” column falls under the gum strip? Fill it out, seal it…now try to open it without ripping up the ordering information. A carefully applied hot iron can solve this horror, but who really wants to bother? Don't just check specs; actually make mock-ups of items such as order forms and gatefolds to truly understand how they'll work in production. Then create the design.

Too often, incorrect product and pricing information is given; the solution here is often a quickie blow-in. One cataloger was so unhappy with a product's description that it went to the expense of a blow-in just to correct the copy. A bit of overkill, but maybe the blow-in drew extra attention to the item, getting it extra sales. There was no test, so no one knows for sure. Still, this would have been a great opportunity to see if the cost of a blow-in had really turned a lemon into lemonade. So don't forget to test.

Several catalogers have shown us how important it is to proofread carefully, especially those pages that run essentially unchanged in issue after issue. If you've used the wrong 800 number, for example, you can sometimes make arrangements with the owner of that 800 number to transfer calls to your number for a fee. Watch the business hours shown with the 800 number, too. One cataloger had copy that seemed to indicate its store was open only a few hours a day.

With today's digital photography allowing you to see pictures as they happen, this blooper is less likely. But for those who are still using film, take note. After spending many hours photographing a feast of food, one tedious shot after another, one cataloger's photography staff celebrated by eating everything it had shot. Alas, when the film was returned the next day, it was obvious that a disaster had occurred with the processing and all the lovely ham, cookies, candy and such were going to have to be reshot. As we are talking about a serious amount of money for all this food, there was one unhappy client. Never get rid of merchandise until the film has been approved and even, if possible, until after the book has been printed.

What about when a model looks great in her head shots but your budget doesn't allow for her to come in for a “look-see”? So you hire her for a week, and she arrives about 20 pounds overweight. Complain though you might, some model contracts are tighter than you could ever imagine. In one case like this, the unhappy agency sliced dresses to fit and worked with the problem. But don't skimp up front. If there's a fee for interviewing the model beforehand, pay it and consider it money well invested.

My favorite advertisement boo-boo is when an order form was printed in white type on a black background. Try to write on that! Of course, another ad went one better: no order form, no address and no 800 number, either. With any order form, always test it by filling out a few copies before it goes to press.

Bad things don't just happen in the front end of the catalog business. One cataloger, so anxious to ship the customer, shipped piecemeal, sending the cup in one shipment and the saucer in another. I'd like to think this was a rarity, but having received a skirt for a suit one day and the jacket a month later, it appears that inventory control problems crop up more often than is desirable. The extra shipment is unnecessary and costly, and rather than pleasing a customer with promptness, irritates with incompleteness.

When selecting a fulfillment site, think beyond the obvious, such as a central U.S. location. One cataloger found itself at the mercy of a fulfillment center that built its warehouse on a riverbank, even though it had been warned of potential flooding. You guessed it. The river overran its banks and seeped into the warehouse, destroying huge amounts of merchandise.

Think giving customers a freebie is one way to keep them loving you? Not when the freebie smells like it's been tucked away in a bad place for a century or so. Ergonomic foam rubber computer wrist pads, emblazoned with the cataloger's name, could have been a thoughtful, daily reminder of the company — if someone had taken the time to inspect them before shipping them, and if the warehouse had been up to its proclaimed standards in quality control. The initial alert was an unexpectedly heavy number of customer service calls. The freebie, like many others, was free because it was left over. Unfortunately, it had been left over for too long.

If you're giving away something that hasn't sold or was used as a promotional item some years back, be certain to check several cartons of the item first. And stay on top of your quality control people.